I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
