you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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