I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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