Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
