What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
