Betty ford says i'm here all night
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
