So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
