what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
