Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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