There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize