Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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