Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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