So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I wear drunk well.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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