She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
