wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
