Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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