Non-Jews are for practice
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize