At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
