My girlfriend figured out who you are.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
