ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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