i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
please don't ironically join a cult
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