take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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