It's like God shit irony all over that family
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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