My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
