Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
