Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
