I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Everything about him screamed your future.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
