I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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