i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
