i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
