I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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