...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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