Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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