Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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