only you would photoshop your dick
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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