hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
