Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
