glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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