Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
