So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It's never too late to be topless.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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