Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
