Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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