i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
