piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
