We're like a lot better than the average bears
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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