North Korea, Best Korea!
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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