doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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