That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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