I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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