woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize