evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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