The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he thought i was a dude.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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