Will you blow on my dice?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
