I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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