Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
