she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
