real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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