You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
