The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
