Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
