There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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