mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize