I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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