you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
