I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
cat food counts as protein by the way
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
