I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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