I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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