i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
