would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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