Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
