i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
