Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
