The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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