absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
