Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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